SCRIPT
DRAFT 1:
From making this script, I need to add more pages to fit with the 10-15 minute time frame. I also need to add more description into the action blocks as I feel they are missing a lot of information such as specific camera angles.
DRAFT 2:
I was given peer feedback from this second draft.
One piece of feedback was to make certain areas more detailed to properly display the characters emotion for example adding parenthetical and more description in the action blocks. To respond to this I will make sure to add lots more descriptive parenthetical's especially in more emotional areas.
Another piece of feedback was to phrase certain areas of dialogue better to make them more natural and make them more conversational, especially in this tense area of dialogue
To improve this draft I will go through and rewrite some of the dialogue and make sure it all has sufficient parenthetical's, as well as adding in more in depth dialogue. I also need to look back over the end of the story and improve any errors which I didn't in this second draft and make sure the story has complete continuity.
DRAFT 3:
Looking back on this draft, I feel I need to refine some areas of the dialogue and action block. I also need to look back over the end bit of the script and make sure it makes sense with the rest of the script and consider it with the brief I was given of making a promotional clip. I may also go back over and made sure all my camera angles and details for editor are as clear as they can be, and maybe add more specific details in areas.
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